Quotation Wednesday – The Charlie Sheen Edition (1)
by the messy optimist
“I think the honesty not only shines through in my work, but also my personal life. And I get in trouble for being honest. I’m extremely old-fashioned. I’m a nobleman. I’m chivalrous.”
“Winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning. Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry, man, didn’t make the rules. Oops!”
“Most of the time, and this includes naps, I’m an F18 bro, and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground. There’s a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins.”
“I just don’t do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”
“I was banging seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear: Go.”
“We work for the pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people.”
“The best way to not get your heart broken, is pretending you don’t have one.”
“There was this one time in Vegas when I took four Victoria’s Secret models and did one gram off each of their bodies within, like, 45 minutes. I declared myself King of Vegas and decided to remodel my hotel room with my bare hands to resemble King Louis XIV’s bedroom at Versailles. Knocked down two entire walls, and later had four knuckle surgeries. Still wasn’t as high as Rob Ford.”
“It’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee, because I don’t have time for these clowns.”
“I gotta take the baton from Chuck Norris.”
“Fame is empowering. My mistake was that I thought I would instinctively know how to handle it. But there’s no manual, no training course.”
“When friends asked me, Can we help? I’d say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.”
